White Bread Boyfriend

White Bread Boyfriend is the first bonus track on Dinosaurchestra, and the second bonus track on its Needlejuice remaster.

White Bread Boyfriend
Song
Artist	Lemon Demon
Written by	Neil Cicierega
Appears on	Dinosaurchestra (bonus tracks)
Sung by	Neil Cicierega
Duration	3:45
Tempo	132
Genre	Pop
Language	English
Links:	MP3 Needlejuice Remaster Backing

Lyrics

I guess I’m lonely, whatever that means,
But when I see you in your pre-embroidered jeans,
I get this feeling, like, prob’ly in my heart,
That most of the time, we should never be apart.

You’re kinda pretty. I guess for now you’ll do.
I mean, you’re beautiful, nobody comes close to you…
And all that rubbish girls like to be told.
You gotta know this stuff when you are seventeen years old.

I guess I’m saying let’s turn a new leaf.
I’ll wear my A&F hat askewly,
And we can go, where to? I don’t know,
But baby, I guess that I love you truly, and

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
I want to be your mainstream man.
I wanna be your typical toy, and
Break up in time for college plans, and

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)
I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)

Well, I can skateboard, and I play the guitar.
I’ll take you out and about in my parents’ car.
We’ll catch a movie, get some McDonald’s,
Go to a party, let somebody else clean up the bottles.

I’m getting desperate. I know how love hurts.
I would give up my sneakers and my polo shirts
To be your sweetheart. I am sorta nice.
You could do better, but I’ll probably suffice.

I’ll serenade you, like all the others,
With overplayed Dave Matthews Band covers.
Is it the love, or the lack thereof
That tells us we might as well become lovers?

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
I want to be your bargain beau.
You’re like my soulmate, let’s hold hands
So everyone at the mall can know, woahohoh.

(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre…)
(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre…)
(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre…)
(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre…)
(Mediocre!)

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
I want to be your mainstream man.
I wanna be your typical toy, and
Break up in time for college plans, and

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)
I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)

Live Performances

• Awesomefest 2006 (June 17th, 2006, Lyndeborough, NH)
• Lemonic Demonade 2006 (30th July, 2006, Kingston, MA)
• Plain Street Studios (November 17th, 2006, Rockland, MA)
• Imagination Summit (April 21st, 2007, Westport, CT)
• Lemonic Demonade 2007 (July 29th, 2007, Kingston, MA)
• Youmacon 2007 (November 2nd, 2007, Troy, MI)
• Lemonic Demonade 2008 (August 3rd, 2008, Kingston, MA)
• Youmacon 2009 (October 31st, 2009, Dearborn, MI)
• Youmacon 2010 (October 30th, 2010, Detroit, MI)

Trivia

• The line “I’ll wear my A&F hat askewly” refers to the American clothes store Abercrombie & Fitch, which is popular with teens.
• The 2022 Needlejuice remastered version noticeably misses parts of the original (e.g. the synth melody at the very beginning) this is because the only lossless version of the original that Neil could find for the remaster was an early mix.
• The Lemonic Demonade 2007 performance was added as part of The FuMP Volume 36, released January 24th, 2013.
• The Needlejuice remastered version of the song was added as part of The FuMP Volume 91, released April 14th, 2022.