http://wiki.mumbergo.net/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=Zander_vs._Crunchy 2026-04-05T22:57:05Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.38.5 http://wiki.mumbergo.net/index.php?title=Zander_vs._Crunchy&diff=801&oldid=prev 2023-08-03T00:36:48Z

<p>Created page with &quot;{{Infobox_song |title = Zander vs. Crunchy |artist = Lemon Demon |year = January 2007? |recorded = 2002/2003 |writer = Neil Cicierega, Jackson Taylor Wetherbee |singer = <a href="/index.php/Neil_Cicierega" title="Neil Cicierega">Neil Cicierega</a>, <a href="/index.php/Jackson_Taylor_Wetherbee" title="Jackson Taylor Wetherbee">Jackson Taylor Wetherbee</a> |duration = 5:34 |tempo = 125 |genre = Rap |language = English |externalLinks = [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NowOn8-a04s Youtube] }} According to <a href="/index.php/Neil" class="mw-redirect" title="Neil">Neil</a> (Crunchy), <a href="/index.php/Taylor_Wetherbee" class="mw-redirect" title="Taylor Wetherbee">Taylor</a> (Zander) “was over my house and was like ‘H...&quot;</p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{Infobox_song<br /> |title = Zander vs. Crunchy<br /> |artist = Lemon Demon<br /> |year = January 2007?<br /> |recorded = 2002/2003<br /> |writer = Neil Cicierega, Jackson Taylor Wetherbee<br /> |singer = [[Neil Cicierega]], [[Jackson Taylor Wetherbee]]<br /> |duration = 5:34<br /> |tempo = 125<br /> |genre = Rap<br /> |language = English<br /> |externalLinks = [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NowOn8-a04s Youtube]<br /> }}<br /> According to [[Neil]] (Crunchy), [[Taylor Wetherbee|Taylor]] (Zander) “was over my house and was like ‘Hey let’s have a RAP WAR’ and took turns writing and recording verses. By the end we were getting tired. Also I wasn’t banking on anybody ever hearing it.”<br /> <br /> ==Lyrics==<br /> &lt;nowiki&gt;Crunchy:<br /> Chimy-changa. Feel my anga’<br /> See my wrath like a cartoon manga<br /> Did you catch my drift Bambino?<br /> I’m defective as a bottle of Beano<br /> You’re in my casino now Biatch!<br /> Spin the wheel and wiatch<br /> As I clean your clock<br /> Don’t make me get my glock<br /> Cause’ the shock’s gonna make you screech like a hawk<br /> <br /> DAMMIT! Expletive deleted!<br /> Your brain’s been depleted, I sound so conceited<br /> But it’s kosher to rap like an egomaniac<br /> You’d pimp yourself out and everybody craps<br /> My train of thought tends to derail<br /> My mind frame tends to fall off the nail<br /> My music’s sick, my blood is thick<br /> My style’s like a goddamn magic trick<br /> Don’t understand, it’s all sleight of hand<br /> It’s all smoke and mirrors and a rubber band<br /> Y’know it’s like they say in Japan<br /> [Gibberish?]<br /> <br /> Zander:<br /> Spinning out the beats like a type of crazed dreidel<br /> Raps been alarmed it’s considered a fable<br /> Y’know I’m willing and able to cradle any young rapper along the road of Mabel<br /> Crazed, confused, dazed, it’s all good<br /> Cause’ I’m doing as good as a rapper should<br /> Representin’ Dead Rabbits America<br /> Sworn against (?)(sounds like Massfield), chumps in that area<br /> You reminisce like a lifeless army<br /> Unable to stop, and it’s quite alarming<br /> We battle top to the quarry<br /> Buildin’ a religion, it’s a big frickin’ story<br /> So shut your mouth, here’s a burrito<br /> I’m known as the rapper’s great Bambino<br /> Squad clears out of the park<br /> With a bottle of cleaner<br /> Raps so fast it’s uncomprehensible<br /> Using rubber bands for your magic tricks<br /> All I do is flick my frickin’ wrist<br /> Then I come out with death’s kiss<br /> And now it’s game set and match, bitch!<br /> <br /> Crunchy:<br /> I’m a rodent, cuz<br /> Seize the moment<br /> While you watch Bonanza in bed with Tony Danza<br /> And this will shock ya, my name’s Willy Wonka<br /> My chocolate factory’s the bomb<br /> Crunchy’s pimpin’ dot com<br /> Are you dead yet? Full of lead yet?<br /> Stuck in a closet with Bill and Ted yet?<br /> Medicated love is a terrible deal<br /> Nonetheless it’s like an SOB, it is real.<br /> I hear a distant rumbling: the sound of an empire crumbling<br /> It’s pretty sweet, if humbling<br /> Manamanamana-mumbling<br /> Are you scared, or are you stoners impaired?<br /> I’m like an evil President with a secret lair<br /> You might find that the world is gone<br /> The hero turns out to be a pawn<br /> Do you catch my drift?<br /> Cuz I lied<br /> I lit Grandpa’s hair on fire<br /> He said, “Ow” and he died.<br /> <br /> Zander:<br /> Little gangsta, singin’ “Hard Knock Life”<br /> Living with his dad who he never had a wife<br /> So he learned in strife to stay calm<br /> And decided when he was older he was gonna show ‘em.<br /> Toppled over a light, the light boy singin’<br /> Spacecat, all the usual gangsters took a step back<br /> But through the black came a burning light<br /> And turned to day from night.<br /> I tell you what, go hop into bed with a pink nightie<br /> Close your eyes and I’ll read you a story<br /> Cuz you’re a youngun in this rap game, Crunchy<br /> Crunchy, ha! That’s really funny<br /> What kind of name is that, honey?<br /> What, did your mom help you come up with that?<br /> Does she still wash your hair in the bath?<br /> I’m seasoned, please believe in<br /> Crowd pleasin’ every damn season<br /> They believe in me so it’s meant to be<br /> That I’m the top in this breezy-heezy game<br /> Representin’ the name, once again<br /> Dead Rabbits for life PG-13<br /> I know you know it’s me<br /> I got it in for life, dogs<br /> And now I’m squeaky clean<br /> Crunchy, I got a big hunchy<br /> That you ain’t got no talent in this rap game<br /> And you know what?<br /> I’m kinda hungry,<br /> so I’m gonna swallow you up<br /> Cuz I’ve got the munchies!<br /> <br /> Crunchy:<br /> Dear Lord, you must be bored<br /> Tryin’ to pick a fight with the dark overlord<br /> Crunchy sees no worthy enemies here<br /> Just a little queer with a disturbing ghetto rear<br /> Ghetto mike gear, it’s time to teach you a lesson<br /> Now I’m confessin’ you’re just salad dressin’<br /> You smell like a phony with 3 times for messin’<br /> Smell this, you puppy pants dork<br /> I’m gonna stab you in the face with a fork<br /> Then I’ll beat you with twigs and a chair<br /> Chop you up with an ax and feed you to a bear<br /> I’ll hang on to your spleen<br /> Keep it clean<br /> I’ll put it on the wall<br /> That oughta help my self-esteem<br /> You’re full of crap<br /> You’re all bark and no bite<br /> You roll in the sack with a fat ho all night<br /> <br /> Zander:<br /> Props to Neil, he’s got the goods<br /> His look’s like a hobo and Tiger Woods<br /> A scrawny white boy who needs his good looks<br /> He’s got his nose stuck in the books<br /> If he’s in the rap game he’ll fake it<br /> Crunchy looks kinda funny, come on dog, try and keep up<br /> I’ll leave you huffin’ in the dust<br /> Puttin’ us through another round of torture<br /> When the words come up out of your mouth they’re like murder<br /> It’s some kinda disorder<br /> Keep being an illiterate bringin’ down world order<br /> And you said yourself you’re a rodent<br /> Too small, livin’ in the garbage<br /> Watchin’ reruns of I Love Lucy<br /> And makin’ up songs to Captain Planet<br /> Takin’ showers once a year<br /> Keepin’ the world oil supply nice and near<br /> But don’t fear, no one’s gonna cheer<br /> No one’s gonna cheer<br /> <br /> Crunchy:<br /> That had to be the worst piece of garbage that I’ve ever heard<br /> Didn’t anybody tell you you couldn’t polish a turd?<br /> I’m gonna polish your ass<br /> I’m gonna make you eat grass<br /> Sassafrass<br /> Word up G<br /> I gotta pee<br /> But that’s just me<br /> You know there once was an old lady who swallowed a fly<br /> I don’t know why she swallowed a fly<br /> But you’re a pansy<br /> I need candy<br /> I want candy<br /> I want an autographed picture of Randy Savage<br /> Printed on cabbage<br /> Pandora’s box is fulla blue porridge<br /> Blue porridge<br /> I don’t have a clue what the hell’s up with you<br /> There could be a pebble in your shoe<br /> For all I know you’re overcompensating<br /> Having trouble dating<br /> Or having trouble mating<br /> But I’m just stating what I think<br /> Your hair is hot pink<br /> That’s OK, we all know you’re gay<br /> <br /> Zander:<br /> OK, overlord, I’m the mandate of heaven<br /> Chosen to send a floatie to show you a true onion<br /> Born I was going to accomplish<br /> And even anyone who raps was telling you to stop this<br /> Flawless what these rhymes bring<br /> Foolishness is what happens to any Crunchy overlord chump that tries to stop to top this<br /> Hey Crunchy, Halloween’s over<br /> You don’t have to act like a Class A Shroeder<br /> And your rap’s borderline asinine<br /> A stupid overlord dressed in the worst of the times<br /> So get a new style<br /> While I’m here burnin’ it up<br /> You’ve been chokin’ on my dust<br /> So you’re buildin’ up to rust<br /> So small you’re lookin’ like a dunce<br /> <br /> Crunchy:<br /> ZanderZanderBoBanderBananafanafofander<br /> MeMyMoMander<br /> Zander likes to pander to the dorks of the nation with<br /> No consideration for things like style<br /> It’s all imitation<br /> Go back to your home<br /> Let your mommy spank you<br /> I’m sure you’ll enjoy it<br /> Cue rimshot, thank you<br /> May a thousand locusts prey on your region<br /> You’re just another member of the wannabe legion<br /> <br /> Zander:<br /> You’re right, I shouldn’t even fight<br /> I am the best, I’ve finally seen the light<br /> There’s really no reason to go through the hassle<br /> Crunchy should take a hint<br /> And shut his motherfuckin’ trap<br /> Let this be a warning to any other fool<br /> If you stand up to Zander<br /> He’ll kick you in the family jewels.<br /> Bye bye.<br /> <br /> Crunchy:<br /> Bye Bye!&lt;/nowiki&gt;<br /> <br /> ==Trivia==<br /> * This battle rap contains two [[Aaron Ackerson]] references: Crunchy’s line, “like an SOB, it is real” is a reference to the line, “like an SAF, it is real” in the Aaron Ackerson song, “Love Fix”. Zander’s utterance of “Spacecat” is a reference to Aaron’s internet nickname which he references himself in The Artichoke Song.<br /> * The line, “ZanderZanderBoBanderBananafanafofanderMeMyMoMander” is a reference to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_Game The Name Game]<br /> * The drum loop used in this song is used in [[Hyakugojyuuichi 2003]].</div>

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