CryptoSanta: Difference between revisions

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  |tempo =  172  
  |tempo =  172  
  |genre =  Rock, Christmas  
  |genre =  Rock, Christmas  
  |externalLinks =  [https://lemondemon.bandcamp.com/track/aurora-borealis Bandcamp] [https://needlejuice.bandcamp.com/track/cryptosanta Needlejuice Remaster] [https://youtu.be/CHfSLmbBAYM?si=negoODO9nfGh2Gou YouTube] [https://open.spotify.com/track/6x7zWxv1f8GyrIEDxOtqP2?si=mZFIOBxETuGRGbTACfnHtA Spotify]
  |externalLinks =  [https://lemondemon.bandcamp.com/track/cryptosanta Bandcamp] [https://needlejuice.bandcamp.com/track/cryptosanta Needlejuice Remaster] [https://youtu.be/CHfSLmbBAYM?si=negoODO9nfGh2Gou YouTube] [https://open.spotify.com/track/6x7zWxv1f8GyrIEDxOtqP2?si=mZFIOBxETuGRGbTACfnHtA Spotify]
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Latest revision as of 14:02, 17 April 2026

CryptoSanta is the fifth and final track of Lemon Demon's 2012 Extended Play, I Am Become Christmas.

CryptoSanta
IABC.jpeg
Song
Artist Lemon Demon
Released 2012
Written by Neil Cicierega
Appears on I Am Become Christmas
Sung by Neil Cicierega
Duration 03:38
Tempo 172
Genre Rock, Christmas
Links: Bandcamp Needlejuice Remaster YouTube Spotify


Description

This song is about a mad scientist turning into a robotic version of Santa Claus. It features intense, gorey details.

Lyrics

  Classified project: Moving Light
  Privately funded Silent Night
  North Pole-stationed satellite
  Red and white
  
  Laser beams are focusing,
  Converging on a tyrant king
  New dimensions 
  Full of presents
  For the children
  In the trillions
 
  With a little bit of brains
  Maybe we can do away
  With a lack of candy canes
  Make Christmas every day
  Through scientific enterprise
  Maybe we can open eyes
  We can revolutionize
  The way we move merchandise
  
  (It keeps on giving, it keeps on giving)
  No more naughty,
  No more nice,
  (It keeps on giving, it keeps on giving)
  Just a present,
  And a prize!
  (As seen on TV, as seen on TV)
  It's a pillow,
  It's a pet,
  (As seen on TV)
  It's a miracle it hasn't happened yet
 
  Oh god.
  Something went wrong
  I can't let you see me like this!
  I walked through the path of the beam
  At first I thought I was okay
  But overnight,
  My hair turned white
 
  I've been gaining weight
  Involuntary spasms
  Like a bowl
  Full of jelly...
  Outbursts of laughter
  We must not tell
  The shareholders
  That would be bad
 
  Woah-oh, Something to do with DNA
  Something to do with gamma rays
  White flowing beard won't go away
  Go away!
 
  Laser beams from outer space
  Converging on my mutant face
  New dimensions
  Now I'm presents!
  Like Pandora
  Oh the horror!
 
  Body horror
  Tendons snapping
  Ribbons and wrapping
  Stocking stuffing
  Skin is sloughing
  Bones are bowing
  Something is growing!
  Something-
 
  Oh-oh-oh!
  Ah ah ah ah
  Oh-oh-oh
  Ooh-ee-ooh
  
  Merry Christmas!
 

Trivia

  • This song features parts in 4/4, 5/4, and 6/4. Most of it, however, is in 5/4.