CryptoSanta

CryptoSanta is the fifth and final track of Lemon Demon's 2012 Extended Play, I Am Become Christmas.

CryptoSanta
Song
Artist	Lemon Demon
Released	2012
Written by	Neil Cicierega
Appears on	I Am Become Christmas
Sung by	Neil Cicierega
Duration	03:38
Tempo	172
Genre	Rock, Christmas
Links:	Bandcamp Needlejuice Remaster YouTube Spotify

Description

This song is about a mad scientist turning into a robotic version of Santa Claus. It features intense, gorey details.

Lyrics

Classified project: Moving Light
Privately funded Silent Night
North Pole-stationed satellite
Red and white

Laser beams are focusing,
Converging on a tyrant king
New dimensions 
Full of presents
For the children
In the trillions

With a little bit of brains
Maybe we can do away
With a lack of candy canes
Make Christmas every day
Through scientific enterprise
Maybe we can open eyes
We can revolutionize
The way we move merchandise

(It keeps on giving, it keeps on giving)
No more naughty,
No more nice,
(It keeps on giving, it keeps on giving)
Just a present,
And a prize!
(As seen on TV, as seen on TV)
It's a pillow,
It's a pet,
(As seen on TV)
It's a miracle it hasn't happened yet

Oh god.
Something went wrong
I can't let you see me like this!
I walked through the path of the beam
At first I thought I was okay
But overnight,
My hair turned white

I've been gaining weight
Involuntary spasms
Like a bowl
Full of jelly...
Outbursts of laughter
We must not tell
The shareholders
That would be bad

Woah-oh, Something to do with DNA
Something to do with gamma rays
White flowing beard won't go away
Go away!

Laser beams from outer space
Converging on my mutant face
New dimensions
Now I'm presents!
Like Pandora
Oh the horror!

Body horror
Tendons snapping
Ribbons and wrapping
Stocking stuffing
Skin is sloughing
Bones are bowing
Something is growing!
Something-

Oh-oh-oh!
Ah ah ah ah
Oh-oh-oh
Ooh-ee-ooh

Merry Christmas!

Trivia

• This song features parts in 4/4, 5/4, and 6/4. Most of it, however, is in 5/4.