Touch-Tone Telephone
Touch-Tone Telephone is the second track on Spirit Phone.
| Touch-Tone Telephone | |
| |
| Song | |
| Artist | Lemon Demon |
|---|---|
| Released | 2016 |
| Written by | Neil Cicierega |
| Appears on | Spirit Phone |
| Sung by | Neil Cicierega |
| Duration | 4:42 |
| Tempo | 160 |
| Genre | Pop |
| Language | English |
| Links: | Bandcamp Needlejuice Bandcamp YouTube Spotify |
Description
Neil explained this song's lyrics in the album's audio commentary track:
"So… this song is about a dedicated caller into a radio show who has it all. figured. out. and he just needs to explain it to someone, and even just knowing how he’s gonna sound to other people is giving him all this anxiety and it’s coming out before he can even say what he wants so say. In fact, it never comes out. So, this song is just a big rant of preemptive defensiveness and saying you’re gonna do something without ever doing it."
It is highly notable for being the second most popular Lemon Demon song on Spotify[1] and the most popular on YouTube[2], having garnered 100,000,000+ streams and 34,000,000+ views respectively as of August 2026.
History
This song was conceived in 2009, and was named Ivanushka. This version of the song had completely unrelated lyrics and verses, but the main melody and chorus are very similar.[3] Around 2011, the lyrics were removed, though the project was still titled Ivanushka.mp3. A demo of this name was part of the 2024 Rarities, with a demo from March 8th, 2011 being found. This version of the song featured a very similar instrumental to the final version, though it faded out rather than transitioning into Cabinet Man. Another demo of this song was found in the 2024 Rarities, this one titled Touch-Tone Telephone.mp3. This version of the track is much closer to being finalized, now featuring lyrics almost identical to the 2016 released version. It also features the phone call interlude from the final version, except Neil's voice has no filter on it. However, these vocals and most of the background instruments were completely re-recorded, with Neil deciding to option up for his final chorus.
Lyrics
I think it's time for you to know the awful truth Mm, the truth about me, and the truth about you 'Cause you're a brand-new species Big cat (oh-oh), space Nazis, Robert Stack (oh, oh) God-damn it, gonna snap, Leonard Nimoy (oh, oh-oh-oh-oh) Call me back (call me back) I try to call you every day I'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (of my very own mouth) I've been working on a unified theory If I make it through tonight, everybody's gonna hear me out 'Cause I'm the right one On my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone I'm the only one On your AM, AM radio Oh, I'm crying now, authentic tears They flow out of me when I think about you 'Cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand 'Cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand the meaning of this Oh my god I try, and I try, and I try to make you listen to me I try to call you every day I'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (of my very own mouth) I've been working on a unified theory If I make it through tonight, everybody's gonna hear me out 'Cause I'm the right one On my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone I'm the only one (hey) On your AM, AM radio Don't hang up yet, I'm not done I'm an expert, I'm the one The one who was right all along Better to be laughed at than wrong I'm an expert in my field UFOlogy, yes, it's all real Ancient aliens, it's all true I'm an expert just like you And like you, I'm a genius before my time Disbelieving, that's the real crime Pretty soon, they'll discover me In the Super-Sargasso Sea I try to call you every day What can I say when the truth comes out? (Of my very own mouth) I've been working on a unified theory If I make it through tonight, everybody's gonna hear me out (now) 'Cause I'm the right one (now) on my touch-tone telephone (now) On my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone I'm the only one on your AM radio (On your AM, AM radio)
Alternate Versions
- Ivanushka (Touch-Tone Telephone 2009 Demo)
- Touch-Tone Telephone 2011 Demo (Ivanushka.mp3)
- Touch-Tone Telephone 2012 Demo (Touch-Tone Telephone.mp3)
Trivia
[File:Touch-tone_telephone.webp|200px|thumb|left|Wax cylinder artwork]]
- This is one of two Lemon Demon songs to receive a single release on wax cylinder by Needlejuice Records in 2023.[4]