Why the Hell Won't It Snow?

Why the Hell Won't It Snow?
Short films
Creator	Neil Cicierega, Taylor Wetherbee
Cast	Neil Cicierega, Taylor Wetherbee
Crew	Neil Cicierega, Taylor Wetherbee
Released	???
Duration	02:37
Links:	Download

Taylor is willing to try anything for snow.

Transcript

Taylor: Help me Jesus! It’s almost Christmas and your buddy, Jack Frost, skipped town. I’m waiting…
(Taylor gets down on knees)
Taylor (crying): Why have you forsaken me?!
Neil: Taylor, what the hell are you doing?
Taylor: Oh, hi Neil. I was about to kick God’s ass if he doesn’t send some snow.
Neil: I don’t think that’s how the weather works, T. God doesn’t have enough time to control stuff like that.
Taylor: Oh?
Neil: Nope, he has weather demons tied to a holy fence post on the outskirts of heaven.
(Taylor stands up)
Neil: They usually just toss weather around like confetti, but word on the street is that the weather demons enjoy the occasional tribal dance.
Taylor (rubbing chin): Hmm…
(Taylor hits play on a boombox and dances like an idiot)
Taylor: Ancient demons of weather, make snow!
(Neil runs over and turns off the music)
Neil: You gotta spin more.
Taylor: I have to spin more?
(Neil pushes play again and Taylor continues dancing like an idiot, but spinning more)
Taylor: Ancient demons of weather! Snow! Snow! Snow!
(Taylor collapses)
Neil: All right there, Taylor?
Taylor: Oh, I think I felt a snowflake.
Neil: Ok, you gotta keep trying. You gotta show the demons that you mean business.
(Neil gives Taylor a mask)
Neil: Here, put on this tribal mask, and scream in falsetto. Ok?
(The tribal music starts and Taylor starts dancing like an idiot, but this time he is wearing a tribal mask and screaming in falsetto)
Taylor: Ancient demons of weather and stuff, snow! Or I’ll (?)
Neil: Louder!
Taylor: Ancient (cough) demons (cough cough cough)
(Taylor collapses again)
Neil: …You ok?
(Neil turns off the music again)
Neil: Taylor?
Taylor (whimpering): Ancient demons… of… weather…
Neil: I think they heard you.
Taylor: But it’s (cough) — But it’s not snowing.
Neil: Well, it’s not immediate; we’ll find out tomorrow.
(Taylor and Neil walk away)
Narrator: And so Taylor and Neil retired to their beds, and lo and behold, the very next morning they climbed out of their beds and gazed out upon the morning world. And to their complete and utter amazement, it had not snowed at all. The end.

Trivia

• The Narration at the end of the video is sampled in New Way Out