Birdfucker

Birdfucker
Song
Artist	Grapes and Sunshine
Released	2007
Written by	Neil Cicierega
Sung by	Neil Cicierega
Duration	03:16 (3:18 under alternate mix)
Tempo	?
Genre	Pop
Language	English

Birdfucker is a song released by Neil Cicierega to the Something Awful forums in 2007, under the name Grapes and Sunshine. Two versions of the song exist, the first of which omits the rap verse before the end of the song. In 2009, Neil owned up to creating the song.

Lyrics

You spend your days birdwatching 
While petting your sap sucker 
And pelican debauching 
And goosing some poor clucker 
The early bird will get the worm 
If "worm" is just a cutesy term 
You're using to describe your sperm 
Birdfucker 

Now when you buy a chicken 
You don't want to pluck her 
No, you'd rather stick your dick in 
You filthy rubber ducker 
And in your wettest dream, you let 
An ostrich and an emu peck your neck and double team you 
Birdfucker 

You fuck birds 
There are no words 
Except Birdfucker 

You'd get foul with an owl 
You'd make sweet love to a turtle dove 
You want to screw a cockatoo 
You'd plug your hole with an oriole 
The common loon is your favorite poon 
You'd love a swan to cum opon 
You'd bury your meat in a parakeet 
You'd fuck an eagle if it weren't illegal 
There is no quail you wouldn't nail 
There is no stork you wouldn't pork 
You'd spill your sauce on an albatross 
Let loose your juice on Mother Goose 

Oh yes, you're throbbin' for a robin, so good 
Misbehavin' with a raven, and a woodpecker peckin' your wood 
And the swallow swallows your birdseed 
That's what you need - to skeet-skeet to the tweet-tweet 
And you're fuckin' a falcon, and your cock's in a hawk 
And you wanna make 'em all go "squawk" 
 
Cause you're a birdfucker 
You fuck birds

Trivia

• The song was initially considered for inclusion as a View-Monster bonus track on the Needlejuice reissue.
• Fishfucker by Nuclear Bubble Wrap and Neil-killer by Aaron Ackerson are parodies of this song.