Knife Fight

Knife Fight
Song
Artist	Lemon Demon
Released	2008
Written by	Neil Cicierega
Appears on	View-Monster
Sung by	Neil Cicierega , Marty Allen
Duration	04:17
Tempo	80
Genre	Rock
Language	English
Links:	Bandcamp Needlejuice Remaster YouTubeSpotify

Knife Fight is the 11th track and the 6th non-transition track on View-Monster. It features two characters (played by Neil and Marty Allen of the band Uncle Monsterface) settling their differences with a battle of knifes. It was later rereleased unaltered as the 10th track of Almanac 2009.

Lyrics

I tire of your mind games.
I’m sick of playing Don’t Wake Daddy.
Good sir, no more Rock, Paper, Scissors for me.
But wait, are we not civilized gentlemen here?
I challenge you to a battle of knifes!

KNIFE FIGHT,
You’re gonna fight for your life!
KNIFE FIGHT,
You’re gonna fight with a knife!
KNIFE FIGHT,
A really really really sharp knife!
YEAH, KNIFE FIGHT!
I’m a crazy (crazy) son of a bitch!
I’ma cut you! (Cut you!)
Swish swish!
In a knife fight! (Knife fight.)
Knife fight! (Knife fight.)
Knife fight! KNIFE FIGHT!

NEIL: Let me tell you something: I can’t be beat.
MARTY: Oh yeah?
NEIL: Yeah. Cuz I’m the king of the street!
MARTY: Well guess what, man: I’ll pin you to the wall!
NEIL: Oh yeah?
MARTY: Yeah, your knife is way too small!
NEIL: Hey! My knife is super sharp and that’s what counts! I’m gonna make you bleed copius amounts!
MARTY: Yeah well I’ll be sure to thank you right after I shank you!
NEIL: Punk.
MARTY: Dweeb.

KNIFE FIGHT,
You’re gonna fight for your life!
KNIFE FIGHT,
You’re gonna fight with a knife!
KNIFE FIGHT,
A really really really sharp knife!
YEAH, KNIFE FIGHT!
I’m a crazy (crazy) son of a bitch!
I’ma cut you! (Cut you!)
Swish swish!
In a knife fight! (Knife fight.)
Knife fight! (Knife fight.)
Knife fight! KNIFE FIGHT!

NEIL: I’m gonna slice you up!
MARTY: I’m gonna cut you down!
NEIL: I’ll put you in your place!
MARTY: I’ll put you underground!
NEIL: This is the END for you, you gutter crawling cur!
MARTY: I’ve got a TIP for you, get the POINT?
NEIL: Yeah, sure.
MARTY: It’s time to face the music!
NEIL: Time to face the facts!
MARTY: Time to bite the bullet!
NEIL: Time to pay the tax!
MARTY: I’ve got a blade of fury.
NEIL: I am a ball of rage.
MARTY: You ready, sucka?
NEIL: Born ready.
BOTH: ENGAGE!

KNIFE!
FIGHT!
CUT!
STAB!
KNIFE!
OW!
POKE!
KNIFE!

MARTY: Hey wait a minute here!
NEIL: Oh, what is it?!
MARTY: Knifes are dangerous, we could get hurt!
NEIL: Hurt? …I don’t want to get hurt.
MARTY: Who does!
NEIL: Okay well, in that case, I challenge you to a…
BOTH: TICKLE FIGHT!

Tickle fight! It’s a tickle fight!
Don’t bring no knife to a tickle fight!
Just bring your fingers, bring a feather, and
Everyone can sing together, now:
Tickle fight! Tickle fight!
La-dee-da dum dum tickle fight!
Tickle fight! Tickle fight!
Whoopy-doo zig zag tickle fight!
Ding dong doodly
Nick nack noodly
Fee fi fo fum kitten kaboodly!
Tickle fight! Tickle fight!
Tickle Tickle Tickle fight! HEY!

MARTY: That was fun. Where’s my knife?

Trivia

• This song features the first guest vocalist on a Lemon Demon album since Clown Circus.
• The proper plural of the word knife is in fact knives, not knifes as used throughout the song. This was intentional.
• Knife Fight is one of four songs on View-Monster to receive a corresponding zoetrope animation on the Between The Frames picture disc vinyl variant of the album first released by Needlejuice Records in 2020. This song's animation was done by Aimkid and can be found on Side B.